Two funerals, a birthday, and ovulation

What a hard week. My friend from college went into cardiac arrest last Friday and has basically been on life support all week. Yesterday she passed away. It has been an emotionally draining day, an it's my birthday. I'm not in a celebration mood. However my neighbor Kris took me out to lunch and then we made a Christmas craft. That was much needed today. It took my mind off all the sadness this week and I always enjoy her company. Last night Brent took me to dinner too. That was really nice and we got our wedding rings cleaned and he bought me a new band for my charm bracket, the other one was too big, so that was really nice. Tonight we were going to go to my cabin, but I would rather stay home and have a quiet evening with my husband. I told him for my birthday I want to make a baby haha. And God has a mean sense of humor... This is right in the window of opportunity! You would think I would be crazy about it this month. How much more perfect right, my birthday! What a present.  But with my friend passing, and other things that went on this week having a baby at this exact moment doesn't seem that important. Don't get me wrong, it is miraculous, and very important. I would be nothing but joyful. However I realize even more now that obsessing about things that are not happening now make you miss out on what really is important at this very moment. Instead of being sad about not making a baby (although every birthday wish has been for that!) I am very thankful ad blessed for what I do have. A very loving husband who tries so hard to make everything perfect for me. And the most amazing neighbor and friend that is always there for me. I didn't have a birthday like I normally do, but so far it has been exactly what I needed. Not only taking my mind off losing my friend, but taking it off obsessing over how amazing the timing is to have a baby. I really do want this to be planned out, not spontaneous because I think it's magical timing. I guarantee you I will be able to come up with some reason on any give day why that is the perfect day we conceived. Today it's just a perfect day to have a birthday and be with the people I are about most.