Its so obvious later on

I have been so impatient for almost a year about having a baby. If Brent would have agreed to start trying right away and we did get pregnant I realize now that we wouldn't have been able to handle it. I keep saying it will happen when God knows it's the right time, so why don't I listen? Brent and I have learned a lot this past year, about ourselves and each other. It is so easy to look back and thank God for unanswered prayers. Awhile back I prayed for patience, but God doesn't just give you patience, he gives you situation for you to learn patience. God answered that prayer of mine but I haven't been trying my hardest. There are two more months until we finally are going to start trying for a baby, I want to take this time to prepare as much as I can. I isn't want to just let the next two months go by, I want to enjoy these two months for what they are, a blessing. It seems so unfair and cruel that I don't have a baby yet, but in reality it's been a blessing. I want to be the best me possible so our baby will have a mother that lives up to her potential. Yes I have been impatiently waiting the past 10 months, but for the next two I will learn patience. That doesn't mean I can't talk about it, think about it or anything like that. It means I can't get dissapointed that it hasn't happened.